-Her Story
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Do you ever have this weird feeling. Is like as if you're worrying about something, but yet you don't know what are you worrying about. That's exactly that feeling I'm having now. It did not only happen today but it was since the day that Miss Ang found out about her 'portrait'.
It was because of that feeling that make me think that Miss Ang will find out the truth about the fake picture. That's why I decided to tell her the truth. I thought by doing that will make that weird and stupid feeling go away. But it didn't. Gosh... Just what the hell on Earth am I worrying about? Can someone like just tell me...
Few days ago, I was talking to Denise on the phone telling her about this weird feeling. And guess what was her reply... 'Huh?! You also ar? Me too eh...' At that the moment I was like thinking is it because someone is cursing us?
Anyway, after a long conversation with Denise, I think I'm worrying about tomorrow's audition. Cause up to now, I've not decided on the song I'm gonna sing tomorrow. Think I'm going back to my old style again. Deciding on the song tomorrow on the spot depending on my mood. Haha. I'm thinking of singing 勇气 or 爱无力. Well, everything shall be decided tomorrow according to my mood.
Just reflecting on what happen on Thursday. After the 'most evil' punishment. Haha. Well, Miss Ang was telling me that she'll think of a very evil punishment after I 'confessed' to her about the drawing. Guess what did she mean by the evil punishment? It wasn't evil at all to me... It was just to stay back and help her stamp the books. By right, to Denise and I, it was actually a type of luxury. Haha.
Anyway, after the 'evil' punishment, Jason, Denise and I went to MacDonald's for our lunch. Can you imagine? Eating lunch at like around 3.45pm? Actually we wanted to ask Daren to come along so that Jason wasn't the only boy you see, but he say he don't want. Anyway, when we reach there, Denise and I ordered some food while Jason just sit there and chat with us. He said that he did eat before serving the punishment . Haha.
During that short chat, I've finally understand the sudden change in Jason and why he 'hated' his parents that much. If you did notice, Jason has became more attentive, less rude to teachers, does not speak rubish that often and hands in most of his homework on time. Initially I thought it was because he had became more mature. But the fact is that he wants to get better results so that he can buy the Nintendo wii.
Can you imagine how much is he dying to get the Nintendo wii? He told Denise and I his birthday present from his parents last year was the PERMISSION to buy the PSP. He got the permission and he had to use his own money to buy! And his parents call it his BIRTHDAY present. Gosh! I was shock when he told us k... Birthday present is just a damn permission? My parents has never done that to me... At least this can confirm one thing, my mama is not the worst mama.
The next thing he told us was that he had saved enough money to buy the Nintendo wii but his parents don't allow him to buy. They told him if he get good results, then they just will allow him to buy. But that's not confirm...
What exactly their 'prefect' result? What do parents mean by 'good' results? How good is their good? Is like if you get 1st in class but your results is 70 plus, They will say '1st so what? all 70 plus only... your class must be all the lousy people one la...' Then If you get 80... Then they will say 'Why you don't get A star?' And when you get a A star, they will say 'Why you don't get full marks? All the careless mistakes!' When you get all full marks, they will say 'Ai Ya... you lucky only la... Is it the whole class also get full marks?'
Is like no matter how hard you try to please your parents, it is just impossible. Just like me. I remember in primary 2, I got 3rd in the 1st half of the year and mama said 'your results also not good enough... your class must be all lousy one la...' So during end of the year, I studied very hard and I came in 5th. But still with the same result. It means the class improve and I remain the same. Haha.
Last year, I try to please mama again. So I studies very hard for one of the mathematics class test. And I got full marks. But you guess what did mama said. She say ' Ai ya... must be lucky one la... the paper very easy mah... must be whole class get full marks also la...' When the truth is that in the whole class, only 2 people scored full marks. I think it was Jim Soo and I. See what I mean? No matter how hard we try, our parents expectations are just too higher.
The harder we try, the higher their expectations will be. So what's perfect to them? It just seemed that they just refuses to accept the fact that we are clever. Some times the fact is just right in front of you, is just whether you're willing to accept it or not. But I still believe there are some thing that we won't wish to know. But the shit thing is that what we don't wish to know, we will still find out eventually. Haiz...
-She Listens
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