-Her Story
Trust & Faith
Friday, May 25, 2012
Wow. Life have been.. Hahas. Speechless. I seriously can't wait to just get done and over with 2012. I used to think 2010 was the worst year till 2012 came. Well.. Prolly 2010 was bad cause I lost you. But prolly 2012 is worse cause you are more important than you. If you even get what I mean~
Loads of things have been happening this past 10days or so. It just feels like as though I'm gonna lose you any moment. Everything in this family is just falling out of place. I really can't help but to think that you're really having an affair.
Each and every single thought of you hugging another woman in your arms just makes me feel so disgusted. And I seriously hate it whenever I could sense the anger and hatred coming from deep within me. It's seriously growing too strong to the extend where I can't even bring myself to look at your photo.
I really don't get what wrong have you done to the extend where you have to send "Sorry dear. Please forgive me." to mum. In addition to that, all the funny funny questions you and mum have been "interrogating" me with. Honestly I'd rather not know ANYTHING right from the start. WHAT'S THE DAMN POINT IN TELLING ME THE STORY OUTLINE WHEN YOU HAVE NO INTENTION TO LET ME KNOW THE CONTENT?!
I wish I'm as insensitive as my brother.
At this very stage, I'm very sure that I'm not prepared to take in any truths/information at my end. After so many days battling with the devil, trying to keep myself sane and flushing out all the vulgarities from my dictionary, I just need sometime to cool down and get settled before the next blow hits me in my face.
Yesterday mum was just asking me why didn't I ever have the thought of asking dad to come back to Singapore and get another job or something.. She was like asking me.. What would I do if dad decides to live in Cambodia for good and never return back to Singapore ever again.
But come to think of it, my dad have been working overseas for 6 years or so.. and I've already gotten used to spending only a few days per year with my dad. Don't you think it's a little too late to ask this question after so many years. Why didn't you ask this question right at the start? Did you even know how I felt on the first night that dad wasn't in Singapore by my side? What's the point of asking this redundant question at this very point when it has lost all its purpose?!
God said in the Bible, Psalm 23:4 (ESV)
Even when I must walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff reassure me.
I've never been so desperate for God's strength ever before. I could remember there was this time when I stood in my shower-room just crying like nobody's business. Then I was just began picturing how nice would it be if I'm right beside Him in heaven and He's like just sitting right next to me, watching me cry and throw tantrums at Him, yet God would patiently wait for me to cool down, helping me wipe off my tear and hugging me tight in His arms and whispering softly by my ear "I'm here with you, my child" and I literally heard a soft voice whispering by my physical ear "I'm here with you, my child".
I was so blown off by that soft small still voice and I'm very sure that was His voice.
After that shower, I just feels as though I've washed away all my troubles. I told myself to look at things from a different angle. Honestly it isn't easy when you're caught in difficult and heartbreaking situations. But I thank God for friends around who kept reminding me the promises of God. I did a lot on my part too. Constantly reminding myself that God is on my side, God is with me, God's plan is to proper me and not to destroy me, God is greater than all my problems, God send me through trails not to temp me but to build me up. Temptation comes from the devil. If God is for me, who can be against me?
It may seem easy to say all these but really saying all these in faith is really not that simple. It's written in the bible, each and every time you decide to follow God, the devil will come to attack you, bringing you down and dragging you away from God. Hence it's really important for us to learn how to identify which is from God and which is from Satan.
I trust that God will carry me through this season of storms. I trust in His plans and I believe at the end of the day, He'll give me testimony to share with His people. From now till that day comes, I'll seek Him more and more each day. Do keep me in prayer too if you read this. Not forgetting, I know many more people are keeping me in prayer. Thank God for Lynette, Jeraldine Yap, Eddy, Celine, Gladys and many many more of these brothers and sisters who have been helping me guard my heart :]
Don't judge your situation from where you are. Look at it from God's point of view :)
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-The Girl
*Name: Venus Lee Yan 李缘
*Date Of Birth: 20th Feb 1994
*Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=743058322
*E-mail: Venus_lee_yan@hotmail.com
*AKA: Retarded Over Turn Blonde Turtle
-Her Love
*Enjoying God's presence
*Reflecting
*Making song covers
*Making videos
*Looking at the moon
*Studying the meaning behind every song
*Singing
*listening to songs
*My friends
*Pursuing my dreams
*Writing phrases that speaks what I feel about certain matter
*Every talent I'm blessed with
*Listening to people
*Split personality
*Everything God has given me
-Her Detest
*Empty promises
*Lies
*Cowards
